Air Sickness

I like to have a plan of attack when I travel.  When I get to my destination, however – I could not care less about a schedule or itinerary.   Yes, I’m that easy going … unless the Point-A-to-Point-B part has somehow been compromised.

Yesterday’s trip to Berlin about killed me – because at the last possible second everything went impossibly haywire.  My original flight from KC to Chicago was canceled.  “Air traffic control problems” was the official excuse.  Miraculously, I got on an earlier flight (on a different airline) that got me in at roughly the same time to Chicago.  I made my flight with approximately eight seconds to spare.

Cue the gastrointestinal distress.  Where the eff are my Tums?

By the time I actually ARRIVED at O’Hare, I was a raging bundle of nerves.  And if I was stressed, I wonder how my luggage must have felt?  At this point, my new purple American Tourister bag had been shuffled through three different airlines.  I knew – for certain – that my bag would end up in the Antilles … Lesser or Greater was yet to be determined.

No sooner had I arrived in Chicago then I heard an ominous:  “Paging Mr. Mahhh-keeeeey.  Mr. Michael Maaaaahhhh-keeeeey,” said the anonymous voice over the loudspeaker at O’Hare.  “Please come to the Lufthansa counter.”

My spleen exploded.

Even though my e-ticket said I had a seat, United said I was on stand-by.  “We may have a seat for you … or we may not,” said a very ambivalent gate agent.  Eventually I made the flight and got to Munich with a whopping fifteen minutes to make my flight to Berlin.  Normally – that’s a piece of cake … but – whoops – I had to go through customs.  I made my flight to Berlin – again – with eight seconds to spare.

I may have pooped myself a little.

My friend Christian was unfortunately at a trade show and couldn’t pick me up.  So I called my buddy Bobby McGee to come get me settled.  (This once again proves my theory that I know someone in every single city in the world.)  Christian had left keys to his place with a friend of his.  Fortunately, Christian left detailed notes to get from Point A to Point B.  I felt like I was on an episode of The Amazing Race.  Would I ever get to Christian’s place?  And, if so, was there a prize waiting for me?

Eventually, I made it … but not before nearly being hit by a train.  And that was AFTER I tripped and nearly fell in a fountain.  (Don’t ask.)  I just kept saying to myself, “Life is an adventure … life is an adventure … life is an adventure.”

I lost fourteen pounds yesterday in my adventure.  Score.  I’d recommend it over the stomach flu or a tapeworm any day!

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This entry was posted on Friday, May 20th, 2011 at 10:30 am and is filed under M2's World. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.