Panty Raid
So there’s a man who lives in Eastern Missouri who has made a quilt from 58 pairs of women’s panties. (That may win the prize for the single weirdest sentence I’ve ever typed … and, for me, that’s saying something.) My dear readers – meet Louis Garrett, of Louisiana, Missouri. Not only does he have more tattoos than teeth, he’s recently started quilting using women’s dainties.
Here are the Top 5 Reasons Why I’m Officially Weirded Out By This:
5. He has standards. Apparently said panties must only be made of nylon, acetate, rayon, or silk because those are his preferred fabrics. Or as he put it: “No polyester. I don’t want those cheap, dollar-store, not-sexy, farm-girl panties. I want classy — silk or nylon. You know, sexy. Victoria’s Secret.”
4. He also has a mannequin collection … which he also dresses in lingerie.
3. He’s in the process of making a second quilt. (Lord.)
2. Garrett’s nickname is “Shovelhead”. Don’t know why. Don’t care. Too crepped out to ask.
1. Mercifully, he vows never to sell his kinky quilt. Why? Because he has personal relationships with most of the women who willingly offer up their underwear. “That’s kind of a weird sentimental value right there,” he told the local Hannibal Courier-Post.
5. Several blogs (including this one) have picked up on the story and now the whole lurid tale is poised to go viral. Let’s all gird our loins.
It’s been a long time since I wrote about a completely random bit of fashion info. But since this man only lives a half a state away from me, it felt like it needed to be noted. And if you don’t believe me … just watch the video. It’s posted for your viewing pleasure. Be afraid, kids. Be very afraid.
Popularity: 3% [?]
Tweet