Michael Mackie

You know that term “salt of the earth”—when you’re referring to a fine, upstanding individual? Well, my uncle Tom Bryan was more like “salt of the universe” or “salt of … Read more

Well, that was horrific.
I just ate whatever I wanted for two solid weeks. It was awesomely awful. 14 days of gluten gluttony. 14 days of sugar serendipity. 14 days of … Read more

20 years ago—almost to the date—I was furiously putting together a demo reel for my friend JC to submit to cruise ship companies. His goal? To become a performer, see … Read more

I saw a recent tweet that said, “I’m going to stay up until midnight on December 31st—just so I can watch 2019 die.” While I’m not quite that fanatical, I’m … Read more

Did I ever tell you about the Christmas that Dad got me a Bowie knife?

Like, an actual honest-to-God, Rambo-esque Bowie knife? Very shiny. Very deadly. Of course, I was dumbfounded. … Read more

 
When I announced to the world on January 1st I was giving up sugar in 2019, quite a few people scoffed/mocked/harrumphed me. I don’t blame them. But as they say—nothing … Read more

A third of the way through Cats, I actually paused and thought to myself, “Has there ever been a more god-awful movie in the history of cinema?”
In a word—no. Nothing … Read more

When you’ve been friends with someone for over 20 years, there are zero pretenses. Zilch. That’s how I feel about my beloved galpal Erin Kiernan—who may quite possibly be the … Read more

The “On This Day” feature on Facebook is simultaneously a blessing and a curse. It reminds me of all the Bevinator’s countless shenanigans and Bev-isms throughout the year. But this … Read more

The texts have steadily been coming in for the last couple weeks. Everyone offering to have me over for Thanksgiving and/or making sure I’ve got some place to go. At … Read more