Over the weekend I discovered and downloaded the video game “Angry Birds” to my iTouch.  My life has been put on hold ever since.  I can’t eat.  I can’t sleep.  And I barely had time to write this blog since I’m too busy trying to slingshot angry birds into smarmy pigs.  (Appease me, please.  Just nod and smile.)

Angry Birds is a puzzle video game developed by Rovio, a developer based in Finland.  Since its release for Apple’s iPhones over 10 million copies of the game have been purchased.  That means 10 million people are only sleeping two or three hours a night because of their obsession with this puzzle.  Or is it just me?

The game goes a little something like this:  Players take control of a flock of birds that are attempting to retrieve eggs that have been stolen by a group of evil pigs.  That would explain why the birds are so … uh, angry.

Are you with me so far?  Good.

The pigs hide under structures made of wood, glass or stone.  The object?  To wipe out the oinker bastards.  Using a slingshot, players launch the birds at the structure, with the intent of either hitting the pigs directly or damaging it enough to cause it to collapse onto the pigs.

Oh hell, why am I even describing it?  Just go download it.  It’s like crack.  And I can’t stop playing.  Hide yo’ kids.  Hide yo’ wife.  And hide yo’ husband, because everybody is playing this game.  And you’ll subsequently thank me and hate me later.