A wise co-worker once told me, “Don’t dip your pen in company ink, son.”  Another wise, but not-so-articulate co-worker once told me, “Dude, you never wanna go to work knowing you’ve seen someone naked.  Never.  Ever.  Ever.”

I have practiced this adage for my entire professional career.  I’m apparently the only one.  The gym I work at is RIFE for people hooking up.  And the drama is palpable.  It’s a regular soap opera … “As The Treadmill Turns”.

The ad agency I work at is another love nest … although much more tastefully done.  We’ve never had workplace violence, but we have more than our fair share of workplace romances.  Nary a month goes by that I don’t go, “Wait, THOSE two are together?!  When did THAT happen?”

When you work closely with someone 40+ hours a week you’re bound to get close to them, right?  Albeit not THAT close.

But shhhh … this is where it gets good.

Boom chicka whah whah!

A new survey commissioned by Sensis Condoms has found that 17 percent of Americans admit to having sex at their job!  I can’t even wrap my brain around that.  Thank God I don’t work in a library.

Recently, a female Ohio police officer was fired and her police chief was forced to resign after getting caught canoodling in their squad car.  How did they get busted?  They had the dashboard camera turned around facing them instead of pointed at the street.  Morons.  (And may I add they were escorting a female prisoner in the back of the car at the time?  That sounds like a bad porn film if you ask me.)

And that’s not the half of it.

According to the study, 69% of folks like to do it in the back of cars, 28% get off in public parks, 3% of people have joined the Mile High club and 3% of people have done it at church!  Sweet Baby Jesus!

Am I just boring or old-fashioned?  Or maybe I don’t find my co-workers attractive?  (I don’t.)  All I know is that being a single mingle has its advantages.  Like never getting caught with your pants down at work.  Word.