I have taught fitness classes every Saturday and Sunday morning for the last 5+ years.  On an up note, I never get wasted on Fridays or Saturdays because it’s impossible to teach hung over.  On a down note … I rarely go out on Fridays or Saturday because … well, I usually get drunk.  (See above.)

About a month ago, I made a joke to my Sunday morning class.  I said, “You know, if I didn’t have to teach this class, I’d TOTALLY be in church right now.”  I immediately burst out in hysterics because that statement was just SO absurd.  I then profusely thanked the class for attending the Church of Michael Mackie every Sunday.

Apparently, someone in class took umbrage at my statement and complained.  Seems I pissed off a God-fearing client who didn’t appreciate my attempt at humor.  Uh, shouldn’t that person have actually BEEN in church instead of in my class, less I digress?

So this morning I told the entire saga from beginning to end in a veiled attempt to apologize to the masses.  There were a few new people in class and I told them I really appreciated the fact they weren’t uber-religious.  (Gotta keep those class attendance numbers up, you know.) And I may have mentioned in passing that I was the perfect person to be teaching a Sunday morning class because, frankly, I was the most hedonistic instructor at the gym.  “Stick with me people!  And you’ll turn in to a pillar of salt before you know it!”

I had successfully maneuvered through the entire class being witty, charming and precocious.  Imagine my surprise when I asked one of the newbies in class what she did for a living.  She immediately turned red and said, “I’m a pastor.”  I dropped my barbell on the floor and died laughing.  The class quickly followed suit.

Jesus! This could ONLY happen to me.

I mean, Jesus Christ, Amen & Hallelujah!