So far, I’ve had two tour guides in Philly. One of them was my friend David, who was determined to ensure I had my bearings within 30 seconds of leaving the hotel. David walks like he’s being chased by something. Either that or he was seriously trying to ditch me. My flip-flops actually started to smoke after about five minutes of power walking around Philly. At one point, I feigned like I was having a seizure. David said, “You can’t have a seizure now … we’re less than a block away from a cupcake store.”
I had an amazingly fast recovery.
My second tour guide was my old roomie Mike. He’s a Philly native and was a congenial soul. He didn’t flinch when I gave him my laundry list of things I wanted to see and do. One of them was to run up the “Rocky” stairs at the Philadelphia Museum of Art. Yes, I know … trite and predictable, but who cares? It’s Philly.
The 72-step climb has become a tourist Mecca for people wanting to recreate Rocky Balboa’s famous early morning ascension. There’s even a statue at the foot of the museum commemorating the movie and the eponymous character. Apparently, the bronze statue was originally placed at the top of the stairs, but the museum took umbrage. They called it a “movie prop” and “not art” and it was quickly relocated to its own nook at the foot of the stairwell. Spoil sports.
Upon arrival at the museum, I was running (pun intended) on fumes after hauling ass a majority of the day. Playing Joe Tourist is hard work, mind you. I wasn’t enthralled with the idea of running anyway … let alone up steps. Part of me wondered why I wolfed down that cheesesteak so fast. But I sucked it up and bolted skyward. Halfway up I became acutely aware of the two large root beers sloshing around in my gut. I wondered if Sly Stallone ever had that problem, but then remembered he only drank egg yolks.
The thought of that scene made me even more nauseated, but I persevered.
After reaching the top, I did what any good tourist would do. I panted excessively, walked back down and hailed a cab back to the hotel.