I get the biggest kick out of bitchy service industry professionals.  Take yesterday for instance … I asked the hotel concierge a simple question.

Me: “Hi, can you suggest a good sushi restaurant here in Palm Springs?”

Concierge: “Yes, we have TONS of great sushi places.”

Me (excited): “Really?!”

Concierge (sarcastically with eye roll): “Yes, really.  Because desert towns are typically KNOWN for their fresh fish.”

I had to give him props.  I lobbed him a soft ball and he knocked it out of the park.  I get grief from bellhops, cabbies and hostesses.  I’m an equal opportunity offendee it would appear.  (Is offendee even a word?  Well, it is now.)   I would like to politely remind them their jobs are to keep the customer happy.

Out of all the irritable service professionals in the world, flight attendants are my absolute favorite.  They never fail to disappoint with their impeccable timing and delusions of power.  I heard a flight attendant once tell a cranky passenger, “Ma’am, I’m only gonna tell you this once.  Blue will always win.  Always.”  Turns out he was right.  He was wearing blue … as was the Captain … as was the police officer that escorted the trouble-making woman off the plane.

I waited tables for over fifteen years, so I’m well aware of the day-to-day pressures of trying to make the customer happy.  I’ve been involved in so many verbal skirmishes that it’s a wonder I haven’t been fired one hundred times over.  Managers would come up to me and ask, “Did you just tell that customer they were annoying and needed to learn how to behave in a restaurant?  I would coolly look at my manager and say, “Does that sound like something I’d say?  Of course, I didn’t say that.”  The managers always took my word for it.

Morons.