I heart my editor. I really do. He gives advice when warranted and makes suggestions only when absolutely necessary. I borderline cherish him … but only because he’s skillfully mastered the art of the English language. And when I grow up, I want to steal all of his tricks of the trade and use them to my advantage.

Although – a few weeks ago, I noticed something was amiss in nearly all of my articles. Turns out, he had been deliberately and painstakingly removing all of the exclamation points in my articles and replacing them with drab periods. Can you believe that??!! And it wasn’t just periodic period-replacement either. Every time there was a rogue exclamation point, he would banish it with wild abandon.

So I quizzed him about it.

I said, “Young man, what the #$%^&* are you doing to my copy!!?” And he yammered on some thing about editorializing – which, of course, meant nothing to me. So in order to trump his ace and bring him back down to the real world where people use exclamation points, I want to tell you a true story about what I did last weekend.

A week ago, some dear friends surprised me with a trip to Los Angeles! Even better, they had scored tickets to “The Tonight Show w/ Jay Leno!” It was outstanding!  While I was shopping on Rodeo Drive (!!!), I ran in to McSteamy from “Grey’s Anatomy”! I nearly DIED! It was the most, to say the least! I love Hollywood! Don’t you??!!

There. I feel better.

Wait.

There! I feel better!

If you’re going to get in to a knock-down-drag-out fight with the man who controls the destiny of your punctuation, you’d better pick your battles carefully. Seriously … what’s next? I swear … if he starts gratuitously removing my ellipses for no good reason … well, I’m not sure what I’m going to do. Probably revolt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!