I have a distant acquaintance on Facebook who changes his relationship status as frequently as he changes his underwear.   I’m embarrassed for him.  If you’re so emotionally unstable and unavailable that you can’t sustain a relationship for more than 15 days, why feel the need to post it on The Book?

Seriously.

After dating countless different people over a 12-month period (and updating his status EVERY time), my friend recently got married.  “Yeah, this is gonna last,” I thought.  The guy couldn’t go for more than 90 days without some sort of trauma/drama in his personal life.   The updates would toggle between “Todd is single” to “Todd is in a relationship” to “Todd is single” again.   The relationship updates paled in comparison to the status updates, though.  “So and so went psycho and kicked me out, again.  Does anyone have a place I can stay?” read one sad tale of woe.

Okay, really?  It’s bad enough that your life is in constant turmoil because of your poor choices, but do we really have to know about it and/or attempt empathy?  Uh, no.

As predicted, Todd’s marriage lasted only but a brief while before “Todd is single” magically appeared on his FB page last week.  That was followed by “So and so changed the locks and I STILL need my stuff back.”

It took every fiber of my being to resist the urge to hit the “Like” button.

Todd probably just wants to be loved like anyone else, but how about you get yourself straightened out before attempting a date?  And if you DO date, please don’t feel the need to quantify the relationship after only ten minutes.   Your 400+ friends will NOT think any less of you, as if that was possible.