Kansas City has lost one of its queens. Dare I say, our supreme queen.

Melinda Ryder, a fixture of Kansas City’s drag scene for nearly five decades, passed away on September 8th. And while “drag queen” certainly describes what she did, it hardly describes what she meant to this city.

She was an entertainer, mentor, philanthropist, pageant winner, show director and fundraiser — and for generations of Kansas City queens, someone who helped show them how to do this thing called drag.

She also happened to be a helluva lot of fun.

I had the chance to interview Melinda a few years ago, asking about her favorite Kansas City places, guilty pleasures and the things that made her tick. Looking back at those answers now, what strikes me most is how much kooky personality was packed into every response.

That was Melinda.

She could give you a perfectly straightforward answer and somehow make it entertaining.

Five Decades of Making an Entrance

Melinda was winning pageant titles as far back as 1979. She performed at nearly every gay nightclub in Kansas City and served as a show director at many of them.

But her impact went far beyond the stage.

She mentored countless young queens, helping them find their footing and making room for the next generation of Kansas City drag.

And then there was the fundraising.

Melinda had an almost endless supply of sequins, eyelashes, and energy — and she put all three to work for other people.

She organized and performed in countless benefit shows, raising thousands of dollars for local nonprofits and individuals who needed a hand.

In her later years, she made Hamburger Mary’s KC her home base, hosting Charity Drag Bingo every Thursday night, with a different nonprofit benefiting each week.

She could have spent those nights simply entertaining people.

Instead, she used the spotlight to help other people shine.

And Then There Were the Little Things …

When I interviewed Melinda, I asked where she liked to shop.

Her answer?

Dollar Tree.

“It is my home away from home,” she told me with zero hesitation.

She loved sending cards, and Dollar Tree had plenty for 50 cents or a dollar. Her husband, stylist and makeup artist Kirk Nelson, apparently knew better than to ask where his money was going.

“My husband says that he could give me $5 or $500 and it would all end up at the Dollar Tree.”

That story makes me smile now.

So does her answer about lipstick.

MAC Rebel and True Red.

Those were the two shades she wore. Periodt.

Her television choices back in the day were equally memorable: Merlin and Lucifer.

“One is a wizard; one is a devil,” she said. “I wonder what a therapist would have to say about my viewing choices?”

That was Melinda — funny, self-aware, and never afraid of a good punchline.

She Knew Her Classics

Melinda loved old movies, particularly black-and-white films, and counted the 1939 classic The Women among her favorites.

She even had a Joan Crawford line ready to go:

“There’s a name for you ladies but it isn’t used in polite society outside of a kennel.”

If you knew Melinda, you probably weren’t surprised she had a line like that in her back pocket.

And then there were the wigs — from the famed Renee of Paris.

Melinda remembered when queens ordered wigs from catalogs, complete with hair-color sample rings and their own sales representatives. No scrolling. No online shopping. You picked up the phone and placed your order.

She still had wigs that were 15 to 20 years old, thanks to hubby Kirk’s meticulous care.

There’s something very Melinda about that — preserving the things that mattered.

Traditions. Friendships. Community. And, apparently, really f*cking good wigs.

She Knew When to Go Home

I had one final question for her: Where did she go for breakfast at 3 a.m. after the bars closed?

Her answer was perfect.

“I am in bed at 3 a.m. I have not closed a bar for many years!”

Of course she wasn’t.

Melinda had earned the right to know when the evening was over.

Because her story was never really about staying out late. It was about showing up — for the audience, for the queens who came after her, for the nonprofits that needed money, for the people who needed a reason to laugh and for Kansas City.

A Legacy Bigger Than the Stage

The best performers leave something behind when the curtain comes down.

Melinda leaves decades of memories, generations of queens she mentored and thousands of dollars raised for people and organizations across Kansas City.

She leaves Kirk, family, friends, and an enormous community of people who were lucky enough to know her.

And she leaves a city that is a little less colorful without her in it.

Melinda Ryder didn’t just perform in Kansas City drag history.

She helped create it.

Rest well, Melinda.

And somewhere, I hope there’s a Dollar Tree nearby, gurl. We love you.