As I type this, I’m privileged to be sitting on an airplane next to, what appears to be, a Jew-loathing, Hispanic-hating, Asian-assaulting racist of a woman.   No doubt she’s Republican as well, but I’ll overlook that.  The conversation that is spewing out of her mouth is mind-blowing.  She’s clearly an ill-informed white supremacist and part religious zealot.

While talking to a decrepit octogenarian sitting next to her, she managed to bash Obama, illegal aliens, and HOLY HOMOS, BATMAN, the gays.   (She’s praying for all sinners …. but mostly the queers.  She’d better pray a little harder.  The gays, like African-Americans, are now EVERYWHERE!)

I listened to her propaganda for awhile and then put in my earbuds.  Surprisingly, she can read, because she is currently peering down at my computer screen as I’m typing.  Cue the aggressive arm folding and, wait for it, the disgruntled “HARRRUMPH!” that just emanated from her mouth.

Tomorrow is my BDay.  It will be a day of joy and celebration.  And unabashed drunkenness, but that’s just what I like to call Thursday.  I’m glad I’ve gone through life happy and go lucky and blissfully tolerant of every other human being on the face of the planet, save for the woman sitting next to me.

I can’t imagine growing up in a household where racial insensitivity was the norm.  My parents never really had anything bad to say about any ethnicity.  (Heck, I think I was seven, pushing eight years old, when I first saw an African-American girl at the bowling alley.  Well, it WAS Iowa after all.)  My folks’ ambivalence rolled over to me, which was probably where I got my laissez-faire attitude.

Tomorrow when I blow out the candles on my cake, I’m gonna make one wish.  That people stop being douche bags and keep their negative hatred to themselves.  It’s wishful thinking, I know.  The woman next to me is consumed with ugliness.  It’s etched on her face and in her soul.    And I’m thisclose to hurling my glass of wine at her on the plane.

But that would be a waste of perfectly good alcohol.