I have worked part-time at JCrew for nearly ten years.  It’s riveting.  And by riveting I mean, thank GOD I don’t work there 40 hours a week.  When I started, I didn’t know the first thing about retail.  I was a chronic shopper, but knew nothing about displays or presentation.  Ten years later, I still don’t.  But I can sell anything to anyone no matter the cost or the fit.  My manager says I could sell glasses to a blind person.  

When I started, the management team tried to have me hock women’s clothes.  That failed miserably because women would say things like, “Does this make me look fat?”  And I’d say, “No, your fat makes you look fat.”  So I was quickly shuffled back to men’s apparel where I’ve been a fashionista ever since. 

I am a firm believer in JCrew’s product line.  I think we’ve got some killer clothes.  We’ve gone a bit more upscale in the last three years … and it shows.  A long time ago, I made a pact to myself that I would someday work for JCrew because I believe in the company’s mantra and commitment to quality.  Well, that and the unbelievably healthy associate discount.  Duh.

JCrew is very patient with me.  I can’t fold things to save my life.  I’m even worse at putting things back where they belong.  I’m not allowed to use the register because I usually screw up transactions.  And I can typically only work for a few hours on the weekend during every other vernal equinox.  But for some reason they keep me around.  (Probably because I can sell ice to Eskimos.)

Since First Lady Michelle Obama has started sporting our clothing line, our sales have gone through the roof.  Foot traffic in the store has practically doubled.  The website frequently goes down.  And everything Michelle touches instantly sells out.  Someone desperately needs to get that woman to tell us what she’s going to wear BEFORE she wears it.  Then we can brace for the Obama Effect.  It’s an onslaught of cougars who want to be a la’ mode. 

For awhile my JCrew stock was riding a wave of success.  The company was doing gangbusters after going public.  Then when the recession hit, my stock plummeted.  It’s slowly but surely inching its way back up … and we all have Michelle Obama to thank. 

Scroll through any picture on this website and you’ll see me wearing something of JCrew’s.  I’d like to think I’m the poster child for our menswear.  Or, at least, our line of trendy argyle apparel.  If given the opportunity, I would wear argyle every single day.  Oh wait, I already do.