Sitting down? I’ve never seen “The Wizard Of Oz”. It’s true. AND I live in Kansas. That’s sacrilegious or something, yes? Like a cop never eating a donut. Or Paris Hilton being famous for something other than being famous.
Growing up, I had every opportunity to watch the movie. It was on TV once or twice a year and was considered “event-viewing”. I was probably too busy collecting Smurf glasses to care.
Because I was a pop-culture savant, I knew all the catchy catch-phrases of the movie. Lines such as … “I’ll get you, my pretty! And your little dog too!”
The weird thing? I distinctly remember going to see “The Wiz” several times in the theaters when it came out in 1978. In Des Moines. Iowa. I was the only kid in the joint … let alone the only 8-year old white kid. I think my cousins probably wanted to see it and somehow cajoled my parents in to thinking it was a feel-good family film. Looking back, it would have been a great film to watch stoned out of my mind. Maybe I’ll try that.
A lot of people are in complete shock and disbelief when I tell them I’ve never seen the original 1939 film. They look at me with disdain … like I refused to say The Pledge of Allegiance growing up. Or that I somehow supported the Ayatollah during puberty.
Last year when I went to go see the musical “Wicked” with my friend Mithra … she explained the plotline to me like I was a complete moron. I should have recorded what she said and turned it in to “Oz For Dummies”. I would have made a fortune. I said, “I know what the ‘The Wizard of Oz’ is about, Mithra! Good witch, bad witch, Toto, blah, blah, munchkins, blah.” She rolled her eyes. And then I looked at her and said (in my painfully bad Indian accent), “We’re not in Kansas anymore, bitches.” (That’s mainly because we just crossed the border in to Missouri.)
Frankly, I could not possibly care less about seeing the film. It’s now the principle of the thing. My friend KD-Bon went out of her way to buy me the Collector’s Edition DVD. It sits under my TV collecting dust, still in its protective shrink-wrapped wrapper.
Michael, Michael, Michael. You’re denying yourself a great pleasure, in a way that speaks of noses and faces and spite.
Never say never. Think of that collector’s edition as a bottle of really good wine that you’re saving for a special occasion. Then let the occasion come to you. “Special” as in “I have an unexpected day off” or “This weather is making me cranky and I need cheering up” or “How shall I celebrate Do Something You’ve Never Done Before Day” You get the idea.