Hoedown vs. Hoot’nanny – Part II

When we last left the Hinterlands, I was detailing the highlights of my recent trip to rural Missouri (pronounced MizzzerrrRAH up yonder).  But somehow I failed to mention some of the evening’s festivities that precluded the barnyard reception. 

Mercifully, I did not travel alone.  Instead I opted to go with my dear friend (and VP of Operations at my ad agency) Nickie Gibbs and her husband Brad.  He’s another muckety muck in the company – but I choose not to point that out because it’ll go RIGHT to his head.

Now – I know the three of us swore a blood oath that what went on in Milan, Missouri STAYED in Milan, Missouri.  Well, so much for that.  We got lost 46 times.  After that, I started drinking my weight in margaritas in the city’s only so-called Mexican restaurant … and all bets were off. 

The blushing bride Laura wanted to have a karaoke-themed after hours party at a local watering hole called “My Bar.”  This is your typical small town saloon where everyone knows everyone and they proudly serve ZIMA.  I, however, do not drink ZIMA.  Thus, I tended to stand out like a sore thumb in the bar.  Well, that and I chose to wear an argyle sweater vest w/ matching argyle socks. 

Laura was begging and groveling and pleading for us to sing karaoke with her.  Most declined.  But eventually I relented and opted to sing my signature song, “It’s Raining Men (Hallelujah)!”  I decided to up the ante and make it a duet with Laura.  She was game.  It was on!

First of all, I don’t think anyone in the bar had ever heard of the song … maybe because they don’t appreciate The Weather Girls like I do.  Or maybe because the song hadn’t been covered by Kellie Pickler yet.  Either way – it got a frosty reception … uh, post-reception. 

Brad immediately offered to drive me back to the hotel after that because he was fearful I’d be lynched.  I politely took him up on his offer.  Halfway back to the hotel, I casually mentioned that when Brad and I left together people probably thought we were a couple.   

Needless to say, Brad spent the rest of the evening making out with his lovely wife in a veiled attempt to portray his overt breeder-like qualities.  Don’t worry Brad … I know you secretly covet my argyle sweater vest.  I saw it in your eyes.  Nickie and I will go shopping for you for Xmas.

One thought on “Hoedown vs. Hoot’nanny – Part II

  1. Well tie me up, tie me down! We look like we even have a DANCE ROUTINE in the first pic!! 🙂 I always knew we should’ve been in a band together.

Comments are closed.