Watching “Dancing With The Stars” is one of my (and apparently America’s) guilty pleasures, when I remember to watch it.  Despite an endless barrage of promotion from ABC, I usually forget it’s on.  The show has become water cooler fodder at work, but there are only a select few people I can talk to about it.  People either love the show or hate it.

Personally, when Michael Bolton got booted off “Dancing With The Stars”, I was nonplused about the whole thing.   Between him and David Hasselhoff, the cheese factor had gone through the roof.  The show should have been sponsored by Kraft — or at a minimum … The Laughing Cow.

I told that joke earlier at work and the minute I referenced The Laughing Cow someone mentioned Margaret Cho.  “Wow, rough crowd,” I thought.  Margaret Cho is one of my personal faves.  And even though her weight fluctuates more than Oprah, she’s still a force to be reckoned with.  A smart, funny, bi-sexual, overly-tattooed Asian woman.  Folks, she’s a unicorn and you WILL like her.

A few years ago, “DWTS” suffered the indignity of being busted for recycling costumes.  Quel horreur!  Of course, that got me to thinking how difficult it would it be for designers to come up with fresh, new looks every week.  That’s a lot of fringe and sequins.  Drag queens have less pressure.

I have to give the designers props though when it comes to “theme weeks”.   If I had to turn 102-year old Cloris Leachman into a rapper, I would have had a mini-stroke.

I’m surprised Leachman didn’t have a mini-stroke either.  She’s no Betty White.

And, let’s not forget when Marie Osmond demanded to dress like a living doll for her routine in the semi-finals … uh, before she got the boot.   (That dress creeped me, and apparently America — out.  I considered fainting too.)

The guys outfits are way less inspired than the girls.  Find a silky or Lycra-infused shirt that’s two sizes too small and pair it with some pants that are three sizes too small and voila’ … you’ve got a look.   This season 8’2″ Rick Fox is paired with Cheryl Burke who is a Lilliputian.  How you dress those two for success is beyond me?  Burke mentioned that she’s wearing five or six inch heels.

Six inch heels?  Lord!  Maybe she is a drag queen?